Romney Looks to End Campaign with Hilarious Gaff

NEW HAMPSHIRE – Political advisers are urging presidential-hopeful Mit Romney to do something very funny and embarrassing within the next fourteen days, thus ending his campaign with an act of public-service. –FULL STORY


Rep Weiner Honored As Trailblazer by Fellow Genitalia-Named

WASHINGTON D.C.- Though Representative Anthony Weiner announced his resignation Thursday, a small-but-loyal group is planning to honor the troubled New Yorker for their own reasons. –FULL STORY

Independents Turn Against Major Parties, Offer Role of President to John Goodman

“After a few hours of research, COME ON decided the most universally-pleasing course of action was simply to hire an actor to play the part of president, nominated by a nameless, generic party.”–FULL STORY

Cheney Seeks Treatment for Black-Heart

“He’s just seemed so emotionally vacant the last few years. I knew we had to try something new. We’d heard good things were being done with dolphins and decided to give it a try,” said wife Lynne Cheney. –FULL STORY

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