California Pot Legalization: Experts Warn of Amusing Downfall
SAN DIEGO, CA- Californian’s are set to go to the polls in November. A major issue on the ballot is Proposition 19, a proposal to legalize marijuana in the state. Some scientists are warning of unintended negative consequences, should the vote pass.
“The socio-economic climate could undergo cataclysmic change,” said Professor Mel Thomas of UCLA.
Thomas and other scientists point to historical examples like in Needleheim, Germany, 1992. The village was convinced by a well-meaning tourist to completely legalize pot.
“Literally every adult in the village stopped what they were doing and lit up,” said Professor Thomas. “It started out fun–a lot of giggling and sausage.”
The real trouble started when the villagers began entertaining bizarre visions of creativity. A dangerous collaborative environment soon developed–fueled by good weather and a potent strain of Cannabis sativa.
The details of the Needleheim incident are sketchy. On day eight there was some effort by the villagers to produce either a cartoon or theatrical play entitled ‘Eine Pizza Dass Ein Roboter’ (Robot Pizza). Copies of a rough draft were later found on several of the bodies. Today the community is a ghost town, cluttered with the pathetic remains of unfinished art projects.
“Not in my state,” said Mel Thomas. “The film industry must be protected from the horrors of Needleheim.”
Proposition 19 comes at a time of serious economic challenge for California. Jerry Gilky, a social anthropologist, has concerns about the timing. “If you had a friend, and he was just miserably down on his luck and floundering near the abyss, how would you feel about handing him a big bag of weed?”
On November 2nd, California will found out who its real friends are.